Miss Maus's Muffin Shop.

Wow. Not written in this for a while. Quick update: Omigod Lanky One came for a long weekend and that was gooooooooooood <3, and jesus christ I have been ON THE BALL with my essays. 9000something words for Week 10? Get over 5000 of those *finished* by week 7, and have a good 1500 done by week 8, leaving me week 8, 9 and 10 to do 2500 words, 1000 of which is on the essay I've already started. I can coast it to the end of term. Yer.

Yesterday was a great day. Sure, my flatmates are complete arseholes, some of them, with the monumental noise they make after midnight (Hairdriers at full blast for three hours; random cackling, banging and loud talking in Czech on the phone; door banging, laughing with girlfriend(?) and general stupidity at 3am) and I'm severely lacking sleep and freshness in the facial department - Those shadows are going to take some shifting - but yesterday was great.

I and the General Secretary of the History Society led an expedition to Carlisle, to see the museum exhibition on Henry VIII that Starkey curated. It was wet, cold and very windy. We thought (a little foolishly, in the end) to do the Castle in Carlisle first, before it rained, and then to have lunch. We did that, and the Castle, unless you're horribly into Military Museums you've seen 100x before, surrounded by an old building which honestly is the least exciting and furnashed building owned by The English Heritage, was pretty abysmal. In my opinion. Then we had a massive meal (quite reasonably priced, too) at the Cathedral cafe, followed by visiting said Cathedral which is gorgeous. Really is. We got a bit mesmerised by this fantastic choir rehearsing though, and stayed far too long.

Then we went on to the museum. Got there at about 2.57. Went to the 3pm 'Meet Henry VIII' performance, which was fantastic. A spitting-image actor played Henry VIII (when he was older and fat) who recounted from first person his life from 10 to his death. It was pretty standard, though some detail I didn't know about, which is always fun, and he was sooooo into his character, that you could almost believe that Henry VIII would have had a Lancashire Accent.
Check out his pictures on his (poorly designed) website: Henry Tudor
Bet you'd never thought you'd see Henry VIII on a moped, did you? (Jousting is so passée)
Unfortunately, he finished at 3.55, and the Museum stupidly closes at 4pm. So we didn't actually see the rest of the museum, which looked really really good. The Museum and the shops are an excuse for my friend and I to go back though, so I definitely will. It's quite a nice day-trip place, Carlisle.


I had a superbly weird dream this morning though.



Then my flatmate slammed the front door, and I woke up. But that was bizarre~ I could feel everything, too. It was very vivid. I could feel my body crying, though for once with this sort of tearful dream, I didn't actually wake up crying. Perhaps my conscious knew my subconscious was being a little bit weird.

I love new hobbies. In fact, so far, I'm loving my activity/social life this year. I've really quite filled my week, which is rather great; makes for a good work-play ethic. [no sex jokes please. :3]

But no. I've seriously started this year off on the right foot - sure, I still suffer from SAD as the weather turns from ok to naff, and I really really really miss The Lanky One, but overall, it's ok. I've decided 3 of 4 of my essay titles, and work levels are manageable. How the exams will work out is something I'll worry about next term.

Mondays are nice. 10-12.30 ''workshop'' lectures in this really quite fun course on the history of "science" or 'natural philosophy' in the Renaissance (15th-17th century). Go home, have lunch, then spend 2 hours doing Archery. I had a bit of trouble starting off with Archery, cause not only are my arms too long, but I wasn't taught until the third week in what I was doing wrong with my draw. It's not that I wasn't hitting the target, just my technique (and other people's) was wrong. So that's sorting out my posture a LOT. Really.
Then in the evening I talk to Lanky One, as it's the only proper day we're both in. xD

Tuesdays are busy during the day. Unfortunately, I have nothing in the evenings, so I use that time to do some work and watch films. Fun. Lectures are ok, just that it's a 9am start. And I finish with this crazy lecturer... Socialist (that's fine), Scottish Nationalist (also fine, though bordering annoying). He also slurs a lot so you have to *really* work to make sure you get what he's saying.

Wednesdays are completely free. Actually, as I write this, I've just realised that I have actually a History Society meeting at 3. It's now 2.35. I'd better get dressed! o_O In the evenings, I have been able to start pursuing one of my loves: Dance. I do ballroom dancing now. :D Ok. so I don't have a regular partner, and it'd be nice if I did, but I suppose that's just what I've got to put up with. I had a great partner the first night, which was really helpful as now I know I'm doing the dances correctly, even if any following partners are scared of body contact and therefore can't lead.

Thursday I have just the one lecture, followed by any work I have left to do for that week or the week after, and then in the evening, a history society event - last week was a 3-legged bar crawl (actually quite exhausting, but fun) and this week it's a guest lecture, followed by a meal with him. Sounds nerdy, but it's actually quite fun, and you might learn something too.

Fridays I have quite a late finish to my day: 5pm >.< I hate 4pm lectures. Though last year there was one (which I didn't need to go to in the end) that was at 5-6pm! Horrible. After that it's the Archery Social, so going out with my friends is nice.

Saturdays I have Casualty on t.v. xD And Sundays it's a roast at the friends' house, and then the pub quiz in the evening. Wahey.

Yeah, hobbies are good. They're refreshing, and you meet new people, and even if that doesn't stick, you have a laugh week-to-week. I did try going to Pagan Society (it was interesting) on Monday evenings, but as I said, only time I can really talk to The Lanky One, so I've sacrificed that one. At least for this term. We'll see.

Dance and Archery are really great fun. Honestly. And they do wonders for my posture >> which has always been a little dodgy. I'm quite lazy, and used to slouching at school, cause of their crappy chairs, or benches, or the tables being too low. At home it kept going, and yeah, it's just annoying. But I am consciously making an effort now. Woot.


Do any of you have any interesting hobbies? New ones you've taken up? I'm starting up my writing again, sort of, in my free time. When I have some and inspiration at the same time. I'm also starting up my photography thing again xD

I decided to leave a poem for The Boyfriend to find when he gets back from where ever he is at the moment (some house party or other, though it's possible he's hit his local club instead cause the party seemed dire from the way he described it).

I really really really wanted to do something short, sweet and daft, as I did on his postcard:

Blueberries are blue,
Redcucrrents are red,
I don't get to see you:
So I'm writing, instead!

Easy peasy.

However I couldn't think of any rhyme scheme, poem form or anything, so I decided to aim for serious, and to see what happens Good times.
Anyway, I ended up unable to really maintain it, so I resulted in a half-serious, half-hearted-half comedy poem.


Amidst the low hum, and soft light,
I sit in my computer chair, this night.

I try to think of the things I want to say.
how I feel, how I think, what I'd pray;
(If I were religious, or spiritual in any way)

I miss you with all my might,
During the warmer days,
The colder night,
I wish I could see you always.

Life is short, I know it so,
and we have far of it left to go,
before we can live, the way we please
in your arms, in my arms, not on our knees.

I wrote this poem, in an attempt to touch
however I think I tried to rhyme, too much.


 It's a shame I can't see his face when he reads it. I'd like to know his immediate reaction, really.
I've posted it on the forum I frequent, and two people seem to like it, for different reasons, so I'll just assume he either smiles, wells up, or puts on his 'what in the flying hell?" face.

You are all such a wonderful audience. I may have to dedicate an awful poem to you sometime!

If there is one thing I've learned from My Life, it's:

Time is annoying, but also, cliché-wise, a 'great healer'.


I've actually experienced quite a lot of death in my life, various people that I felt quite close to, and others I knew and was friends with, but not quite so intimately close. Each time I heard about their death, I cried and felt the initial shock and unfairness of it. I can't possibly gage which is worse - the unexpected death of a friend or the long-time-waiting death after an illness; mostly because of how the deaths have panned out - those I was closest to were those that died a long death, whilst those I knew and was friends with all died because of poor driving.

When my mother died, I remember feeling incredibly angry at people that used the old clichés - It gets easier, I'm sorry for your loss, My condolences, I'm so sorry, etc. But obviously when you're the one trying to express those feelings, it becomes hard NOT to use those clichés.

Perhaps they're clichés because they are somewhat true; time DOES make it easier. In a weird way. It always sounded heartless to me, but really, it's not. I've not forgotten any of the people I've known, at all. I can still smell them, hear their voices. It gets a bit harder to recall, but you'd be amazed what meeting a random person wearing the same perfume, or hearing a long-forgotten song can do for your memory. For example, last week I had a fabulous night at my first Ballroom Dancing lesson. However it  was hampered by the potent smell of the teacher's perfume. I instantly wanted to call her Sue or Nita. Nita's not dead, Sue is, but I've not seen either of them in years. My GOD it was as though I was in the same room as them again, the two friends in that pokey kitchen, laughing at whatever silly thing my brother had said, even if they never quite made me feel *that* nauseus.

What I've also learned about grief is that everybody must deal with it in his own way. Unless you fall into a helpless pit of despair and become incredibly ill, there is no "wrong" way to grieve.
It also changes with each person. I personally couldn't talk about my mother for a good 3 years without crying, so I refused to in public, whilst my grandmother and my brother wanted to all the time - which, unfortunately for my brother, wasn't easy, as his friends (they were all 7 at the time) didn't understand the necessity. With other people, I found it easier to talk about them - but only if it was a jolly reminiscing.

I think Time has also shown me how magical the past can be. No wonder historians such as myself enjoy studying it! Everytime I recount, for example, episodes of my school years, or how The Boyfriend and I got together, it seems amazingly a short time ago, and somehow better than it appeared at the time. You can laugh at your mistakes, or silly things you said, the embarassment is gone, and the sadness is less, somehow.

To those of you that have experienced death in the last few days, please let me tell you this:

You will always cry for her. But you will laugh, too. There'll be lovely memories, and things that will remind you of her. You have your chat histories, text messages, and any little titbits you might have received from her. What you feel now will never go away, but it becomes easier to bear, and is soon outweighed by the wonderful times you spent together. Cliché, again, I know, but I guess it's because it's true.

~Do not stand at my grave and weep.
I am not there, I do not sleep.~

The title says it all, really. The Maus is bored. So bored that she's going to update her blog page with some random drivel.

I could probably update you on the marvy purchases I made in the last few weeks (a new pair of jeans, two suitcases, tights, underwear, two classical cds, dvds, tweezers, a nail buffer and nail varnish. Ooo! And a gorgeous handbag), or I could try to convince you all to watch the rather fabby anime series I've been watching; Baccano!, The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya, Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood and (it's got a great theme tune) Umineko.
I order you to check them out! Seriously.

I've just realised that I don't really tell much about myself. I mean, there've been some very personal blogs in the past, and I've probably come across as brash, in the words of some ''bitchy'' and perhaps rather depressed. However you'd read and interpreted it, really. However talking to people I've spoken to for years, I've kinda realised that I don't let a lot of myself show. Not the basic facts and details of who I am, just a few random snippets of emotions, if I'm having a particularly fiery moment.

Well. I'll enlighten some those of you who actually care.

Basics:

5 foot 4 (ish), blonde hair, blue eyes, medium-pale complexion and (apparently) adorable dimples when I smile.
I'm size 10 and have an hour glass body shape. Actually. Ignore that, that's as unnecessary as my shoe size. (5 and a half)
My marital status is that of 'In a Relationship'. I find it hard to believe it's already been well over 2 years. It all passed by so quickly.

I currently attend Lancaster University. There are probably many girls that look like me, so I won't worry about stalkers or murderers trying to find me. I study History, and I specialise in pre-1700 cultures, though I *am* going to do a course on Imperial India up to the Partition. Just what I need to get my blood boiling once more at the arrogance and cruelty of our forefathers.

Apart from history, I enjoy music very much. I play the saxophone (not in a while though, I've just realised. Woops) and have accomplished a good grade 6, whilst having picked up grade 3 acoustic guitar, and being quite experienced in using my voice for musical uses rather than debating in various choirs. My preferred genres are Ska and Cabaret, though I generally listen to anything - except heavy metal/screamo. I'm sorry, but I have to draw the line there. I try not to be musically snobby, but that is NOISE, not music.

I'm a bookworm, too. I'm currently in trouble because my room is untidy. Part of the problem there is the number of books I have forced into the limited space of my bookshelf. Hardly my fault, since a lot of those non-fitting books were bought for me!

I'm quite a friendly soul, really. I believe very strongly in giving everyone a fair chance when I meet them. I know what it's like to receive the opposite treatment. I've been called ''quirky'' and ''cute'' a lot though, especially when I speak in a certain frame of mind, so I guess I must be doing something right. Can be called ''obsessive'' or ''passionate'' (prefer that one) though, too, by the same people, if I've become upset or angry about something or other that's going on in the world. Yes, you evil human beings, I DO take issue with what you're doing!


I'll let you in on a secret: I'm actually more terrified of going back to uni this year than I was at the prospect of starting it last year. I guess it's because I know how bad it can be. Still, I actually know people this time round, and I have sort of mentally prepared myself for the worst case scenario flat-mate-wise... I know how bad certain types of people can be through others' experiences, so I'm not expecting much in the way of brilliance.

The work load though is something I just can't prepare myself for, no matter how I try. It's actually rather scary. I just hope that I love the courses; I know I will at least 2 of them, but one or two are either unfamiliar in format, or the content sounds incredibly dull, as written by the lead lecturer.

I'm still waiting on my deposit from my college, for my room. I'd really like to know how much they've taken from me, and for what. As is annoyingly normal for my college though, there's been a massive delay because of technical difficulties and new systems which means that the old finances haven't been transferred yet. Lame excuse, but there you go. It's the same every time money transactions are taking place. Or supposed to.