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May 11 Technological AnomaliesOk. I've had my fair share of wonderful moments with computers and my internet and my games. Love them I do. Make the world go round. But this week has really taken the biscuit. For some time now, my graphics card kinda blew up, my hard drive's dodged up and as a result of the graphics card being replaced, I need a better PSU. So I'm spending £79 of my £80 birthday money on a shiny new card, and then £66.97 [I'm THAT accurate] on the rest. Don't complain too much, so long as I don't need to replace them again in 2 years. [each part consequently has 3 years warranty, fortunately]. The reason I got a desktop pc was that my laptop's disk drive was no long reading disks. Completely broke. Then when we replaced the crap router, it disliked the new one, and I couldn't install the hardware of the new router because I didn't have a disk. Actually, the internet thing was marginally more recent, but that's not the point. Had internet problems cause the previous hardware conflicted with the disfunctional wireless card. Cheap laptops don't last! Anyway. Hard drive went boom again last week. So I used Ubuntu on the linux kernal. Fine. Until it decided it didn't like using the internet anymore, and I couldn't. So I thought, hell, why not try using my laptop. It works fine except for that cd drive. I was going to rip the installation disk to my brother's computer and transfer the needed stuff to mp3 then stick it on my laptop. Except for some stupid reason, no idea why, I decided to put the cd in my laptop for a laugh. I remembered it made a really funny pathetic noise when trying to read cds. AND IT WORKED.  It's now reading CDs as though it never stopped.Won't read em long enough to fully install oblivion, but that's not a problem. I have audiosurf and legoracers to pass the time between ordering my parts, revision, installing my parts, getting set up, exams and revision.Oh and my social life. But Lanky One's a geek, so the setting up my pc and social life can mix. :3 Honestly though. I'm sometimes wondering whether technology is really worth this palava. look where it's got us: dependancy on typing [people are forgetting how to hold a pen], books aren't being read, obesity, nuclear bombs etc. Not worth the hassle at all. May 06 Mindless sensabilites and dreamsMy birthday was an interesting one. I have got money now to pay for at least £80 of the repairs needed for my computer. Yay. To celebrate on the day, I had a massive meal, with a bottle of wine from the year of my birth. Really delicious. We also had desert wine, and coupled with champagne and the 1990 red, I woke up feeling a little bit headachey. Not hung over. Quite. I wasn't really drunk. I skipped that straight to hang-over symptoms. The next day, Tall Lanky One took me to my all-time favourite restaurant. Yum. Quite romantic actually. Then we went out to our mate's party - his birthday's the same day as mine. The -next- evening, the Sunday, went out with our friends for a pint. Except we never got round to sitting in a pub. =/ Never mind. After all the fun and games, unfortunately a 'suicidal' person sobered us when he asked for a blade to "finish the job" - indicating his cuts and gashes over his torso and wrists. Very disturbing. He told us to run home to our parents, that they'd protect us. One sentence spoke volumes to me. But there was nothing we could have done. Arguably, since he was asking, he wanted help. But then again, we were near the Samaritans base, so he could have easily gone there. Yesterday I went to the fair. It was fun - nice change of people too. Went with Lanky One's friends, whom I know anyway, and we had a fun day out I think. Well, one is suffering pain in the jaw a lot at the moment - so she and her boyfriend went home early. So Lanky One and Lord Rolo and I met up with the group - Stupid One fortunately was NOT there, and we all went to Pizza Express, where they paid for my meal, and Cuddly One baked me a delicious cake. Woot. My birthday has made me think a lot though. Age. Attitudes to certain landmarks in life, attitudes to birthdays. People were almost resentful that I hadn't mentioned my birthday. I had, but only in passing. I don't really care about birthdays a great deal - I've learned over the last 18 years that birthday parties are too much hassle, that presents aren't everything and people don't care either. Until they know they've forgotten, then they are contrite. I was only hurt slightly when one who actually knows my birthday forgot. Otherwise, no one really knows for certain which day it is. Is it the 2nd? The 22nd? The 3rd? I don't mind. So long as I get a cake from home, I don't mind. What annoyed me partly was the run-up to my birthday. Comments on my age. I can drink. So what? I drink anyway - not a binge drinker me, but I can usually have a glass or two of whatever I like when I like. Only difference now is I can buy my own bleeding drinks. People commented on MY choice of drink when we went out on Sunday [A can of Smirnoff - Cranberry and Vodka, if you're wondering]. "aww. Odd-socks with her little can of something." Dodgy one thinks Beer is a real drink. She proves herself by drinking bottles or cans of ale, or beer. Dismissing wine unless it's free and flowing by the bottle, disliking sweet wines as being too childish [generally more alcoholic, ironically]. I snapped that I'll drink what I like. People can't seem to understand that it's MY life. They don't believe in peer pressure, but people are trying to peer pressure me all the time. Even the Lanky One does it, without realising it sometimes. "Can't hurt to go out more". Maybe I don't want to. People can invite me, but if I'm busy they'll have to lump it. However in the case of last night, I had to be diplomatic and accept in the end - an uneaten cake is not worth losing a good friend over. I just didn't like feeling like a naughty child. Apologising for having plans I'd told her about and that she'd ignored and changed behind my back. I dislike being told that I should get a job, because I don't feel like forking out £23 for a night out, where I won't be able to use a bucking bronco - the bulk of the cost I imagine - because I'm in a fricking ballgown. I'll think about going. Nearer the time. I'm fed up being told I need a job because it would mean I can come out more. Not really. They ask me out at the end of the month, normally, when I've spent my money. Same with Lanky One - and he's got a job. Not always able to afford things. Don't tell him to get another one, do they? I have a perfectly good income as it is. I'm also fed up with being asked to take a lift with my friends. I can't - the olds aren't really keen; I dunno what they'd say now I'm 18, but really, I'm not keen on climbing into a 5-time-stall car with another 4 excitable teens. You've seen t.v. and real life. It always ends in tears. I've been thinking a lot lately about the future. Imagining what it'll be like at university. And I can't imagine a place more lonely for me. I'll be away from my family, my boyfriend - that'll be a bit of a strain - and judging from the general behaviour of people in my year group, I won't meet many people that think the way I do: occasional nights out are fun, but I don't want to go out all the time every night and day. I want some time to myself. I've also been thinking about love, and what I imagine my life to turn out like, and I'm becoming less like my fiction books now. I used to think I'd get married, have children. I'd have at least one before I'm 25. I think that mothers shouldn't be over 30 if they can help it. My mother was 22, and she was wonderful. So was Cuddly One's. I have a lot of friends with older parents, who are cool, but depending how much older, can be either over-protective, out-of-touch or just. Not quite able to understand. However I can't think that to be so now. I won't have children by 30, probably. I'll be in teacher training or whatever, and I'll need to find someone that I feel at the time could be a near-decent father - either as a separated parent, or as a partner - and I'd have to be able to have children. Chances are I'd find it slightly difficult. Not impossible, but I might be screwed. [excuse the pun] I used to have so much time for my books. I love them. Really. Escaping into some other world - real or fantasy, past or even present - being someone else, feeling other feelings or new ones. It was wonderful. I'd get lost for hours. Now I rarely have time, really. Especially with exams coming up. I should read Disgrace, or some other Post-colonial Literature book, so that I have some way of passing that exam. >> I have read one, but bare minimum is 2, apparently. I even haven't had much time for fiction writing. Losing my creative. Can't draw, can't write, can't sing. Doesn't matter. I don't have the time anyway. Barely have time for the 2 hours of television a week I watch. May 01 ClownsClowns have to be manically depressed beings by at most their 5th year of being an Official Clown. Come on. They have crap wages, look ugly, seem to scare most of their intended audience, have cheap fake pies chucked in their face, live in cramped cars, have to wear face paint, are forced to smile and laugh in obscene voices all day even when they'd rather be slitting their own wrists, and they have to wear ugly clothes. What in the name of the Flying Donkey do they get out of it? They get nothing. Really. Properly funny people, such as Stephen Fry, Humphrey Lyttleton, Rory Bremner, Jan Ravens etc, they don't run around dressed like idiots doing farsical stints. No, they rely on their actual wit and COMIC talent. I apologise to anyone that likes clowns, or IS a clown, but in my view, it's just not comedy. Maybe I'm weird. I mean, I never found shows where the presenters smashed each other's faces in with cream pies that funny. I prefer proper jokes. If I wanted an animal balloon, I'd get a magician instead. At least he has a real rabbit. I'm actually allergic to most face paint so a life of servitude as a chronically unfunny red-nosed-and-wigged freak with a horrible grin is out of the question for me. Thank goodness. I like to think I'd have enough wit to not need to make a complete fool of myself anyway. Anyway. Clowns are depressed people, surely. And must really hate themselves, or not be quite right in the head, in order to punish themselves so much. I wonder how many therapists actually have patients who are professional clowns. I am thankful that I never had a clown to a birthday party. I am banking that tomorrow they won't break that 18-year tradition of not having a clown. x] That would really make me cry. April 28 OopsWell THAT was a heavy blog last night. o_O Don't know what came over me. Honest. Ah well. It's a year today when The Tall Lanky One officially asked me out. Actually, it's in about 2 hours, cause I texted I'd had a nice time with him today and then he texted back asking if I wanted to 'go out'. What a lame expression. Kids use it. The Americans, for once, have a marginally more sensible phrase "going steady". Makes more sense. And it's not too heavy sounding for commitmaphobes. Maybe. To celebrate our year together, Lanky One and I......went to college. =| Nah we're going to a restaurant on Saturday. The meal is my birthday present, and the drink for our year. x] I won't let him get me anything else - too much money~. Unless it's surprise. Then it's a bit hard to stop him, if you know what I mean. Speaking of, I should probably ring said restaurant [the most divine Chinese place in the world - seriously. Staff, atmosphere, food. All great. We're so regular now, my family, they know our orders by heart!] and book a table. Yes. Knowing my luck, they'll be busy Saturday lunch time. For a change. Might make him dress up a bit. So I can have an excuse for wearing my favourite black dress. I just want to wear it now. x] Have to say, it's one of the most flattering things I own. x] Oops. I managed to forget to do 2 pieces of homework for classics today. x] I did the mini essay during my lunch hour, but I didn't do the other half of the homework. Fortunately, she didn't check that one. April 27 Mixed. I'm feeling a mix of emotions tonight. =| I can't really pour my heart out, say what I actually feel. That's for my diary. Particularly as anything I say will get back to the people involved. It's stupid. I wanted to stay in. I told them I would be feeling rubbish. I don't even like 2 of the 5 that went. They can only fit 5 people in the car, to be fair, and I'd probably got 'lol, no.' if they appeared at my door and my gran saw I was getting into the car with them. Ha! no. I'd only be getting back late anyway. Which would suck for me, cause anything less than 8 hours sleep and I can't function. But why am I feeling so shite all of a sudden? Left out again. I guess. Which is stupid, cause it was for practical reasons. Besides. I rejected them before. But so had the 5th person. And they persevered, showed up at his door, then he went out for a drink. He texted me. Nice of him. Except now I'm left with only 5p credit from replying. =| I knew I was low. I should have just ignored it. I don't particularly care. Really. Well. I seem to be caring a little. Me thinks I do protest too much. =/ It's stupid. Reason would have it that I'd not actually be bothered: I'd get a headache from the constant wittering and stupidity of The Stupid One. Cuddly One would be sober and thinking 'god, why did I ask them?' as she always does, Dodgy One would be trying to engage us and making me feel bad, sipping at a pint of lager - she's a girl by the way. Yes. Lager. I like beers and such, but it's odd seeing her drink them. Kinda. Ew, no - Italiano would be laughing and poking fun at The Stupid One. Probably playing cards as well. =_= as usual. Tall Lanky One will be with his Guinness, playing along and talking to Cuddly One and Dodgy One. Hm. I'm not actually missing anything. That makes me feel better. His reply to my one text was that Stupid One was indeed tipsy already. Bet it's only half a pint. Arsehole. I feel better for that. One Friday, it's my birthday. I will be 18. Bitter, Messed Up, Cynical, In Love, Happy and Sad, also Rejected, I will be having a regular day, and will be watching boring evening t.v for it. I really don't care. "Oh but it's your 18th! You can legally drink now!" - answer to that: I already do. Whenever I like. "You have to celebrate it! It's the last time you can celebrate with people round here." - answer to that: Last year was chaotic, you and your twin are pains in the arse, and I really don't feel like putting in the effort to have a mediochre outing wherein I'll get stick for not getting drunk like an idiot, and then being insulted by my so-called-pall, The Stupid One. "Oh can I come?" That one was not directed at me, but if I had any sort of do and tried to not invite The Dodgy and The Stupid Ones, they would end up trying to invite themselves, telling me about how they've got time of work etc, and then I'd have to do the rather funky but embarrassing for them thing of telling them "No. You're not invited" then I'd have to tell them why, then their parents would hate me, and then I'd probably get backlash later. Fun. I think not. I might not even be getting a cake. Well. I'm not sure. She might have been bluffing. Every year she says 'no more fancy cakes' but they always end up being some sculpture or decorated thing. I love my cake. I do. It's actually the only thing I'm looking forward ON my birthday. [I'm looking forward to a working graphics card and new PSU, but that's after my bday. I'm also looking forward to my trip to Egypt which is for my birthday but after my exams] Is it sad that excepting the cake thing, I'm looking forward more to the 19th May, when the new Dresden Dolls album is released than I am to my 18th [felt I'd stress that more] birthday? I can vote. I can erm. Pay taxes. Have alcohol, smoke and do other stupid things. I can. I can. I can. I can....erm. Hm. I've run out of things. I'm already paying adult prices, I'm already able to legally have sex, I've already been able to have alcohol when we go out and at home, I would already be driving if I'd learned to. Not much is changing. Except that for about 3 months, I will be dating a minor and technically be a paedophile. =| Tall Lanky One seems to find that idea amusing. Heh. He's my toyboy I guess. Bored, Hungry, and AloneI was just thinking. The Tall Lanky One isn't actually that tall. He's not quite 6foot I reckon. He's just taller than me by about a head and shoulders. I reach his shoulders...ish. And I'm 5ft 4 and a half. But he's still taller than me, and I've used 'Tall Lanky One' too many times now to change his name. Ah well. Quite like using sort of code names. I try to go with characteristics. You know. Dave the Laugh - he's a laugh and looks like a Dave. Tall Lanky One - he's tall and only somewhat lanky. Wouldn't have him any other way though. Well. Maybe get him some new jeans. But he's with me on that one - the zips broken so he has to be careful when he sits down. *snigger*. The Stupid One - doesn't actually quite cover it, but he is rather stupid. And so on. I do put thought into these names, you know. Tomorrow it's a year since me and The Tall Lanky One got together. Long and interesting story which I won't bore you with. It was all worth it. x] We've been reminiscing a lot lately. How it all started and stuff. I can feel the shy awkwardness all over again. x] We'd been mates a while, and it just all happened so fast. Was surreal. Now it just. Is. We still get some stick from people - our so-called-friend can't resist sticking his oar in. =| The Stupid One, ironically. He judges our relationship as flawed, because we didn't start behaving like rabbits on steroids after month 4 - as he and his girlfriend. So I'm an Ice Queen. Frigid. Hm. Last I checked, he had to get his girlfriend drunk every time they did it. =P Interesting. Ah well. Happy day today. With boredom. Hungry too, but there was only one piece of bread left this morning. ;_; I'm only hungry when there's no god-damn food in! April 26 Glamourous Trysts.I've always been the sort of girl to be 'one of the guys' and not get any 'attention' if you get what I mean. However, lately, what with finally having a boyfriend, I've been getting they eye from a cheeky bus driver. Have to say, he is rather cute. Just thinking about it, would I be degrading if I were to go out with this bus driver? This is all tongue-in-cheek of course [I love my Tall Lanky One mucho]. I was wondering because today I'm going out on a little excursion which will result in my having a date in the most hip, biggest building in Suffolk. Oh yes. It has leather squishy sofas. Spacey building. Cold and hot things. Clothes. Isles. Tills. Yes. Sainsbury's is the most gorgeous place to be at the moment. Seriously! Ok. It's not Borders, but then, we don't have such luxuries in this town. I'd have to go 45 minutes in the opposite direction. Which I really can't be arsed to do. With this Bus Driver, [let's call him Dave the Laugh - yes, it's stolen from the Georgia Nicholson Diaries, but really, he's a laugh and he looks like a Dave], well with Dave the Laugh, I'd be meeting him at a bus stop. I've met people at bus stops before. Well. Actually, only The Tall Lanky One, and that was rather fun. If noisy. It's right on the main road, and not too pretty. Outside Sainsbury's so there are rats and rubbish everywhere. Lovely. But yeah. Dave the Laugh is a cheeky bugger, I'll give him that. First started when I was going home after seeing The Tall Lanky One. Got on the bus, he stared at my bus pass, and read my name, then winked, smiled that rather lovely smile at me, and said "Cheers [insert a shortened version of my name]". Then, when I was waiting for him to stop at my stop, which, incidentally, is only one stop away from Sainsbury's. But it would be a 20 minute walk along the road of death, so don't judge me. He said that I'd have much more fun if I stayed on the bus all the way to town - and I should stay on longer. One stop wasn't far enough. The next time I saw him, he just grinned and nodded me on, not even checking to see if I had a pass. Then when I was crossing the road from the hospital to walk back towards Tall Lanky One's stop [he'd missed the bus] he was driving an out of service bus and smiled and half waved at me. 0.o Had him yesterday morning on the bus. He just pulled a funny face at me. It was strange. Made me laugh though. Kinda, sitting upright in his chair, grinning and looking at me sideways. *shrug* Funny man. Want to know his name, to be honest. I want to know if he has a lame name, or he really is called Dave. That would be amusing. He reminds me of my friend, Jon. He's moved away but you know. Just a few mannerisms. Anyway. Back to Glam trysts. Meeting places: Tall Lanky one = Sainsbury's Cafe, Bus stop, Bus, Town. Dave the Laugh = Bus, Bus stop, Car? Cafe? Who knows? I'll probably never find out, since I erm. Stupidly potentially killed my fun yesterday, getting off the bus. I grabbed The Tall Lanky One's hand and walked purposefully off with him. I don't know why I did that: I actually quite enjoyed being flirted with. The Tall Lanky One feels uncomfortable when people flirt with me with him there, or if I flirt with others. Problem is, I don't know all the time if I'm flirting. One person's interpretation of me flirting is my interpretation of being normally friendly. o_O Might just ask him his name next time I see him. Dave the Laugh is like a rare Pokémon card. You think you're gonna have him, and you look out for him, but you only see him pop up occasionally. I usually get the fat old ones. The drivers are quite balanced. Friendly and grumpy. I like the friendly ones best. Yesterday, I felt like crap. Waiting for ages for the bus, to go home from college ill, and I got on and received a very merry "Good Morning" from the Chubby One of About 40 with Sunglasses. He's nice is that one. Anyway. I must get ready for my latest date with The Tall Lanky One. We're not doing much cause I'm not feeling to great, but really, I like seeing him - even for a short time. He's good company. We don't have to be doing much, just sitting there, and I feel better. =) Probably why he's asked me to Sainsbury's for an hour. Conveniently, The Olds are going shopping after lunch, so they're giving me a lift. Oh! By the way! I've updated Death Loves Me. Read it. April 25 Bubbles and SocksSome years ago, my brother undertook to make a stuffed animal. It is made of red ear muffs, the nozzle of an old vacuum cleaner, a piece of crocheted material, and stuffed with bed stuff. It's small, round, has no eyes, no legs and has a forever-cheeky smile, as he sticks out his tongue. Mind you, depending on your mood, you could interpret it as an obstinate expression. We were discussing today what the hell he was. I maintain he's some sub-species of Platypus, but then, I always think that. He isn't sure what animal it is. An unfinished duck, perhaps? He's made a video about it, incidentally. Just awaiting his posting, so I can embed it in this post later. He's a funny guy really. Funnier without his hat. But there you go. Bit of plugging for him. Yeah. He tubes, I blog. It's kinda cool. Might make a badge for me and him: "YouTube, iBlog" terrible I know. x] I have to give him a name, don't I? Should I choose to mention him in my blogs again. Heh. I dunno how he does it, allows people to see what he looks like. I guess though, cause he's a guy, he's not open to the same remarks girls can get. It's stupid. I'm a feminist, [to a point - I shave my legs and stuff] and I firmly believe a girl should be able to wear what she likes, and that men should be able to control themselves. Why can they wear stupid clothes when we can't? If a woman shows off her underwear, she's a slut. If a bloke shows off his underwear, he's just not tightened his belt on his perpetually large jeans. How is that fair? Anyway, I'm not posting an image of myself. Well. I might change my socks sometime. They need a wash. =P Nah, just kidding. I'm always wearing odd socks. Apparently my mother, when she was a child, did the same. Must be genetic. "Odd-Sockigitis: a genetically inherited disease wherein the sufferer must always wear odd socks in order to feel complete." It's not random, the way I wear odd socks, you know. They are usually in a set of two pairs. The ones in my display picture are, for example, two in a set of three pairs. I liked the way they appear to be negatives of each other. I have a lot of trainer socks, and occasionally I have to wear two black. BUT one black sock has lonsdale written underneath, whilst the other doesn't. It's also slightly thinner, which is good since I'm convinced one foot is narrower than the other. But yes. How did I get onto this topic? What a strange mix of a blog this is. Bubbles > feminism > odd socks. Oh yes. My brother. Should I call him "The Perpetually Daft One" or "Mini Me" or just by his youtube name? "Venomisinmyblood" guess what his favourite film character was at the time. =P Nah. Venom is rather funky. All his other chosen names were taken anyway. So this was his last resort. Anyway. Bubbles. Bubbles. What the fudge is he?  I vote platypus with amputations. That's my final answer. WHAT'S YOURS? [well, you can't actually judge until you've seen the damn thing. I'd take a photo, except I'm lazy. \o/]April 24 Rambling onI've decided to ramble on. I need to, I think. I yesterday received my long-awaited order of "The Dresden Dolls Companion Book" and I must say that, for fans, it is money well spent. Sure, no one particularly revels in seeing somewhat naked pictures of Amanda and Brian - luckily not too much is seen of Brian - but the rest of it is interesting, funny and just a rather lovely insight into the songs and the woman that wrote them. If I were younger again, I'd say I'd have based my whole image on her. It's strange. I feel I'm too settled and "defined" to change my image now. I guess I'll have to stick to obsessively saving up for the Dresden Dolls t-shirts and hoodies and badges. I wish there were more posters. Would really brighten up my dorm next year. Every village has an idiot. A Village racist, a village bigot, a village snob... well we have all of those unsavory characters in one person. He's a real idiot. Obnoxious, must always have the last word, gets into arguments either for the sake of it, or because he truly believes he is correct, even though it's a clear cut case of 3 against 1, wherein he wasn't even half right. He also has a selective memory. His most famous example is his claim that he never said that black people shouldn't be on television. We were at The Tall Lanky One's house for an all-nighter. We watched the Fresh Prince of Bel-Aire, legend that it is. The Stupid One said that Black people were unfunny, and he didn't like them on television. Now, he is claiming that a friend, whom I shall name 'Non-insecure One' [for reasons known to people that know him and the arguments going on] had said that black people should be off the television. Ironically, Non-insecure One is the Fresh Prince's BIGGEST fan. The Stupid One accused me, subtly, of racism. Funny, really, isn't it? Ah well, can't beat them all. We'd love to beat him to a pulp, but we just can't. That's my ramble for today. Not particularly witty or as amazingly 'super-blog-like' as I would imagine or daydream about, but there you have it. My life has had nothing to observe of late. April 20 Death Loves MeSaid party last night was erm. Interesting to say the least. More like an orgy, but still fun. Glad I left at 12 though. I was getting sleepy, and there was really no way we'd have slept at all last night. I'm supposed to be doing homework now - finish an essay on how Angellica Bianca is or is not a victim in The Rover. I've done half - just need another page or so. But motivation is lacking. I also got sidetracked by continuing my 'novel', 'story' thing. It's just an ongoing thing I've had going since last year. I've written a lot, but I'm also rewriting bits and adding to it. I'll probably never finish, to tell you the truth. I know what I want to happen, but it's the writing part that gets tricky. I should probably plan out each chapter, as it were. You random people could read it Here. Bit of plugging for my pal, Flid, but also why not? I'm writing this thing, I have a few readers, and some random people might actually read this blog and think, 'heh, might check it out'. I'm no literary genius, but I do try to make sure it's not rubbish. Summery is of an assassin who is sent to protect this young prince and along the way makes a fudge load of life-changing discoveries about herself, that prince and other things. Blah blah big fight in the end, and maybe some deaths. 'Death Loves Me' is what it's called. It's just a hobby. Bit like my photoshopping, but harder. =P April 19 Guide to the horror of parties.Right. Girls will know what I'm talking about - perhaps. I'm not a particularly girly person. But I do like to know that what I'm wearing is appropriate for whatever I'm doing. At home I'll just bung on yesterday's top and jeans and be done. However when I'm going out, I want to know I'm doing myself justice and I don't look stupid. =D Differences between girls and guys is that guys just have to bung some gel in their hair and put on a perhaps slightly nicer top than normal and their normal jeans. That's it. Done. Girls have to think about all the possibilities. For me, today, I've got a two-event outfit to put together. Only one thing is certain: my hair will be straight, and I'll have a blue scarfy thing in it. Fine. Now what's left to decide is whether to wear a skirt or jeans or my faux-jeans trousers. All three lead on to footwear. My skirt, if I wear black tights can take boots or my babychams. My jeans, well I can wear my heeled ankle boots or my trainers or my babychams. Or pumps. My faux-jeans trouser can take my heeled boots or pumps. Practicality is also an issue: I have to walk a mile to get to the bus, stand around for the bus, then walk about a mile to my boyfriend's house. Heeled boots might rub. My flatties aren't good in this cold weather either. The skirt might blow up in the wind; my legs could be cold. Then again, my legs are cold in my jeans. I have ruled out my faux-jeans trousers, on the grounds that they are slightly too short for this weather in the leg. I can't really get away with much in the footware dept. Leaves me with a skirt or jeans. However I have long black trousers, which, with the right top, could look rather funky. However I must remember that this is a casual-smart, and I am also staying round my boyfriend's house from 2 and for dinner. I don't want to look tarty or over dressed for that. We are then going to the party from his house. So my problem now is what is over-dressed? I think the black trousers are too big in the waist anyway. They were baggy when I was podgier, but I've walked so much the last 2 years, I burn off anything I eat so I'm quite skinny. So they're out. Jeans: my white ones are dirty. My blue ones would suit boots better anyway. So you see, boys and gentlemen, this is quite a tricky business. And I still have to decide on a top. Do I want a black button up top, or my v-neck black tee? Or a halterneck? That would smart-casual me quite quickly. However the weather is freezing. What I could do, and I think all girls should consider this in my position, is wear one thing to my boyfriends - a v-neck top, with my haltarneck underwear on, then change into the haltar neck before leaving his house. I can always change my mind, as well, thereby giving me plenty of leeway and solving two problems. All I have to think of now is shoes: boots or babycham? Both go with both tops, so I'm ok. I might decide at the last minute, before leaving to walk. I'll probably go in babychams. There. My outfit is planned fully. It's all entirely logical as well, no? April 11 Ode To The Bus ServiceOde to the bus service Oh! With your destination flashing green Your drivers are various Oh! With your destination flashing green
It got to my stop at 7.43. That suggests to me that either the bus was reaching a phenomenal 90mph, the bus was at least 5 minutes early. It's only 4 miles, but it's a busy road and a long way really. Hm. Meant that the poor Lanky One missed it. Shame. I was left all alone on the bus, to contemplate how dull life is. Whilst I almost had an epileptic fit from the trees and bus shadows flashing at great speeds in the sun. =_= I quite
enjoy writing poetry. I should probably tell this one to my teacher. It's not
exactly Milton...but he's so disorganized, we won't be doing work for
at least half an hour into the lesson. As I type, I can see the dregs of the
people that missed my bus and got the xpress-13. They look thoroughly
disgruntled...because there are no computers left. Haw haw haw. Once again,
my college system can't seem to cope with this page. So I can't post my blog.
How irritating. You're not really missing out on anything. It's...8.40 at the
moment. So that's when I wrote it. OK!?
April 10 Frustrating situationsI will vent my anger...but first, a little haiku to get you in the mood. =) Blue Screen Of Death Switching on machine waiting for main screen to load Blue Screen of Death comes. So you have it. That is really what happened last night. After kicking and screaming and jumping up and down, creating great havock like a 3 year old, I calmed down and sent a rather merry text informing The Tall Lanky One [who is somewhat of a nerd] that I had "Unmountable Boot Volume =)". See? Even in the light of disaster [which at the current rate is happening every 2 weeks], I am able to smile. =) Naturally, I'm somewhat angry. My warranty expired in September. My problems started in October. Rather convenient timing, don't you think? We've narrowed it down [we hope] to either the graphics card being more dodgy than we knew [it's dying already see], the PSU, or the Hard Drive. Of course, if it's none of those, it's the cooling system, the RAM, the Monitor or the Case. I'm putting my money on the case. It seems far to innocent to be true. I laugh at the Blue Screen Of Death. Not only is that a technical term, I'm told, but it's stupidity is really quite perverse. It tells you that if you are seeing said screen for the first time, simply restart. If it is a reoccurring problem, do x y and z, and then you'll be ok. If not, contact support services. Ironically, you CAN'T do x y and z, because technically, you need to be able to launch some form of Windows. Which is precisely what BSOD is forbidding you to do! I am fortunate that my brother [who's the reason I have my own pc, incidentally....he reinstalled windows when we were told we were getting broadband, to get internet explorer back, and the loss of my coursework signalled to my grandparents that it was time I had my own machine.] anyway, my brother allowed me the use of his computer for the time being. And! He only made me say 'please' FIVE times. That is seriously, the least begging I've ever done. It's not as though he's older either. He's younger than me. Sounds pathetic when I put it like that, but he generally has to beg in return for my things. When he's not just stealing or using them. *tut* April 08 Fun conversationsWhat are the funniest conversations a person can have? I've had various funny convos; some were because the person I was talking to was inanely stupid, some because we were having a game of 'ask the book', and some because I was talking to The Tall Lanky One. For instance last night I've titled the "I lost my virginity in x". The Tall Lanky One and I were discussing random obscure places to do as the title of the convo says. Some were daft. Some were....almost plausible. I refused before he could even mention the Sewers. He quite likes the idea of "I lost my virginity in my garage" - I think it's the idea that it's not the house, but we were too sex-mad to make it into the car. x] I suggested it. He liked it. x] Silly person. I don't know about his, but my garage is filthy. And somewhat full. I doubt two people could fit facing each other - and he's apparently invisible when he turns sideways! Yeah...you probably didn't want to know about that conversation. I doubt that any of it will come to pass. Don't worry. =P Another funny conversation I mentioned was the 'Ask the Book' game. People who have played this will probably know that comic books are better to use. What you do is, you get a book, and one person asks it a question. For example, with my Georgia Nicholson Diaries by Louise Rennison, my friend Rachel asked: "Ms Rennison, Ms Rennison, will my fridge dream come true?" I then opened the book on a random page and read out the first sentence I opened my eyes on - which ironically was '"I'm frozen"' (Her fridge dream, incidentally, was that she'd have a passionate encounter in the walk-in freezer/fridge in the kitchens where she works) She then asked with whom she would have this encounter. The answer was "'I must phone Rosie"' which was hilarious, as that is what she calls me for short. So there you have it. You are reading the blog of a woman who will inevitably have a frozen encounter with some peas and carrots and her friend. How jolly. We've told our male acquaintances that they can't watch or film us. [all are heartbroken] I would discuss other of the MANY conversations I've had that are funny, but unfortunately they're funny for the wrong reason. My friend is an ass. And so says stupid things. Which are funny...sometimes. When they're not unfunny. Which is more often the case. I've allowed myself to install the Windows Live Writer. Bad idea? Maybe. I'll see...If I regret it, I can always uninstall, can't I? I could write a review. Good at those. ^_^ Wrote my C.V today. It's all sexy and cool. Lucky people only look for one - two pages....I'd be a bit short otherwise. I barely make 2 pages. x] April 07 ThinkingRecent events near me have made me think a lot. In the last 13 months, two girls have died at my bus stop, which is on a busy A road. I use it every day, and whilst it's busy, the road is certainly not that dangerous. The latest death was of my neighbour, a lovely girl I didn't know well enough, whose blog is now all I hear about. She was bright, witty, thoughtful and had so many ideas and plans. She was really quite a character. Made me think about my own blog. I've always kept a diary, but really, not the sort of things I'd write on an online public space. >> That'd be too personal for you people. I've never really seen much point in a blog, but I'm glad for her family that they have hers, as reading it really made me know her. Guess now of course, I sort of want to jump on the bandwagon. I do make observations, and I do think. Not as much as this girl. She had a shower list! Things she thought of in the shower. How lovely. But I think I'll start writing them down. Perhaps life is too short to keep a blog. I should maybe get out more and "enjoy it". Then again, I enjoy being on my computer [except at the moment. Experiencing heartbreaking problems. x[ ] and I don't need to get out more. I see my friends every day, and I go out occasionally. I see my boyfriend regularly. Well. When we're not too busy. Guess I might just start to write down interesting things now. Not just in my diary - that's really a book of rants. I just want to have somewhere to type as I go. It's much faster than a pen. And it'd pass the time for me. >> Of course, I should start doing it when I'm not supposed to be doing homework! This was more fun than my English work though. I'm supposed to be discussing some sentence tomorrow. That'll be fun. The group'll take it's generic form: The none-workers at the far end opposite me, the semi-workers but chatters on the right side of me, along the wall, and then next to and around me, the few that work. We have a laugh though, which is what it's about, isn't it? [apart from getting through the exams of course]. April 04 PoemsI dunno. I keep losing stuff. My pc eats itself. I sometimes wonder whether I should go T-Total. "Tech-total" geddit? Lame. But yeah. I've got some poems I want to keep for prosperity. Why not post them here? I'm hardly Browning or Marvell, [oo I know poets' names!] but who cares? It helped with my bad mood I guess. Suffocation Tight chest, spinning lights, I felt the fever FrustrationPounding on the walls, I wanted out, to scream __________________________________________________________
"Heil
Hitler" the Fuhrer's youth cried. (this one I wrote for english last year. A sonnet.) __________________________________________________
Our glorious empire ____________________________________________ Our land and our
freedom ____________________________________________
Ghosts
October 15 Lol, I'm bored.I'm such a push-over. Mock me all!
No. Not a push-over really. I just let myself persuade myself to stay on after I'd finished college for the day to spend a little extra time with this Tall Lanky person I know. Sad, nay?
But seriously. What would I do at home? Browse l'intrenet, which, to be fair, is more or less what I'm doing now.
I'm 17. I don't have to go home before a set time. It's not as though I can't tie my own laces now. \o/
Hm. I wouldn't mind a corset actually. Not one of those rib-crushing, health-damaging things from the 16th Century, just one I could wear under or over a nice blouse. I reckon I'd pull it off quite well. Yay for old clothes.
According to the Tall Lanky One, I have a pirate fetish. I'm not really sure I do, though I wouldn't mind dressing up as one on halloween.
Do you hate having little [or large] jokes that you can't explain to other people foor whatever reason? I experienced that today, and frankly, it made me look like a mad-woman. In one of my lessons [which is lame as hell], the teacher wrote on the board something that I found highly amusing, simply cause it very very loosely applied to The Tall Lanky One. The poor girl next to me must have been terrified! I was just sitting there cackling away in my incredibly hearty laugh...
I might well change the background of this space. Dunno. I much love Snoopy - he, along with Dr Cox, Garfield and this strange person in my head, is my idol. He's so brilliant. He can type, has his own little dance and just kicks arse in general. Let's face it. But what would I replace Snoopy with? I could maybe fill the white with some other colour, juyst to add a sort of base to it. Wouldn't take long. I could photoshop something! Yeah! All I need now is an idea. A plan. A style.
Three months later and I bet this is still the same background.
Hm. Not bad for my 2nd proper 'blog' is it? Probably scared a few people though.
And what is with this? Tells me my space is unavailable at this time. Bollocks. Ah well. I wrote this, so I took the 2 secs to copy and paste it into an email so that people can see how bored I was. Yay me. October 11 30 things to do before you're 30.Courtesy of some crappy hotmail link. I found my head and my desk were in alignment for some of them.
1. Go travelling. [Well, that's one off my list]
2. Get something published. [My diary would be an interesting read for psychologists]
3. Watch these films:
4. Live in London 5. Learn a second language [woot. I know 3] 6. Run a marathon [pfft. No way] 7. Drive the Pacific Coast Highway [I hear it's lovely this time of year] 8. Have Sex [well how's that for promoting unwanted pregnancies and STIs?] 9. Go to a music festival 10. Try Different Foods [that tends to go hand-in-hand with travelling for me...] 11. Go on the property ladder [well duh.] 12. Test yourself [By the time you're 30 you'll have had at least 20 exams. No need to test yourself further!] 13. Visit Paris [I'd love to. See the Louvre... I've driven through it though...does that count?] 14. Blow £500 in one night [way to promoting debt and bankruptness as a good thing] 15. Get a savings account and use it [I already have 2 \o/] 16. Do something for charity [I did. Some bastard stole the money I raised. Really.] 17. Get yourself on telly [I have. Sort of.] 18. Eat in a Michelin Starred Restaurant [I think I have] 19. Quit your job [nah. Tis my dream job. Why would I quit?] 20. Go to a live sporting event [Dance counts in some countries. I've done that] 21. Have a weekend in New York [pfft. Bags under your eyes, long flight, expensiveness, wet, polluted, loud....sounds lovely. =/] 22. Read these books:
23. Own a convertable [not possible with kids] 24. Buy something really expensive [pft. Does my computer count? House? Car?] 25. Buy wine worth more than £50 [pfft. not worth the hangover] 26. Join Facebook [Head. Desk. BANG] 27. Record your family history [grandmother's done it for us] 28. Sing Karaoke [have done...god I was hyper] 29. Have a complete health check [isn't that what doctors are for?] 30. Climb a mountain [have done - twas only little though...bah it'll do.] September 21 Top 10 reasons to be a hippy.This is really just a list of reasons why it's cool to be a hippy - practical reasons mainly. Just a load of fun. Not a hippy myself. Looking at it from a erm. Fresh angle.
1) You don't necessarily have to wash your hair every day. Got naturally greasy hair? Great! All the better for growing dreds.
2) You don't need to worry if you smell of B.O. Cotton breathes dude. And besides, you can simply say that all deodrants are tested on something unethical, so you refuse to use it.
3) You don't have to worry about shaving - guys might want to trim the goatee, but ladies, it's great if you have lovely long sexy legs. Which are, frankly, a pain in the arse shaving-wise.
4) Fashion is not expensive. You are wearing Hemp for pete's sake! You don't need to buy special lables to fit in. Just find an old burp bag/sack and fashion a shirt out of it. Or a Jalabea. They're good in the summer.
5) You can get as high as a kite, and no one will call you a junkie or say you have a problem, simply cause you're a hippy.
6) If you look vaguely like John Lennon, you could pretend to haunt someone.
7) You get to have pretty flowers painted all over your camper van. ^.^
8) Doesn't matter if your music is shite, cause frankly, you won't be sober enough to notice.
9) It's all about free lovin' baby. No need for 'relationships'. So if you cheat on your girl, no biggy. She's having it off with your best mate or the drummer from your band or something.
10) No one wants to employ a hippy. Laziness is always the best policy.
So get out there! Buy your dodgy shades, grow your goatees - even you girls - and get high! September 19 Selling OutHm. Well. This is a turn for the books. Maus. Miss Snobby-geek-without-a-webspace-of-any-sort writing a blog in a clearly customised webspace. Fun.
Mock me. Tell me I've sold out my beliefs.
'Tis true; I dislike these things. I think they are a waste of time. Which is why I'm writing this now. =D I'm fed up. Bored. Decided to add do something, so this is another started 'project' that will forever be forgotten through neglect and decay. Yay me.
Yeah. So blog writing. Hm. Erm. What do you write in a blog? I have a diary for confessions and rants, why the fudge do I need to write a load of bull on the internets to be read by all and sundry.
Well this little entry will have given you a small and insignificant taster of what Mausy can really be like.
I'm not posting personal details. I'm not posting camwhore-ish pictures. I am simply writing what I am thinking as I go. Not much going on is there?
Hm. I need my head examined. |
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