Everyone  has regrets, right?
Wish they'd done something differently, went somewhere else, said something cleverer, etc.

I have quite a few regrets in my life. My latest two are that I didn't hear about Amanda Palmer's show at the ICA in August sooner - I really wanted to go last night, when I heard, and even planned the journey and money. The tickets were completely sold out. 
I also partly regret that I didn't go to the leaver's ball. I didn't want to go - at least, that's what I told myself. I didn't earlier, anyway. But I guess it would have been nice, but probably wouldn't have been as good cause Lanky One wouldn't have gone, and I'd be stuck with a few people I'm on edge with atm. Not a big deal - I'll do something else, and it'll be just as good. =) Besides. He promised he'd one day get a suit and learn to do proper dancing, like a foxtrot or something. [yeah right, but it's sweet that he said that.]

I've had small regrets - such as wishing I'd said something that I was thinking, instead of staying quiet, or staying quiet. Being less careless, all sorts of small things that don't affect my life in a big way, really.

Also have bigger ones - I regret my behaviour when I was 5 and 6. In all fairness, it wasn't my fault: I didn't know any better. I was beastly as a child, cause my parents divorced and my lazy bum of a father spoilt me, and I ran to him when my mother [quite rightly] had disciplined me. I missed him - didn't know what a waster he was.
I also regret not getting to say goodbye to my mum. But that's not my fault either - she'd have wanted me to be at my brother's birthday party, having fun. Didn't stop me feeling so damn awful though.

I also regret eating that extra sandwich, then topping it with too much Strawberry Cheesecake Ice Cream. That was not a good thing to do.

I know Lanky One has one or two regrets. x] Ironic that we're talking about it on gtalk whilst I'm writing this.

So that's a brief introduction to regrets in my life. People reading this should post a regret - even if it's "wasting 2 minutes of my life reading this bullshit" - in the comments section! =P

I was eating my toast this morning - brown, with peanut butter and apricot conserve - and I was thinking about jams.

My grandad really likes marmalade and when you go to get out the honey, or peanut butter, or whatever, you see a jar of marmalade, and it says "Sainsbury's Orange Marmalade."

Isn't the definition of marmalade that it's a sort of jam-conserve-type thing, traditionally made from oranges? I know you get lime marmalade or lemon, and it's reasonable to say "lemon marmalade" but honestly, what's the point in putting "orange marmalade"? You get different flavoured Lemonade, and the titles change accordingly, but I've not come across "Lemon Lemonade". That'd be daft, no? Or "Coke Coca Cola" - don't forget there's cherry coke.

Apparently the definition is technically wrong. According to answers.com, marmalade is originally a portuguese creation from Quince. But now-a-days Seville Oranges are the more commonly used ingredient. Huh.

I was arguing with my brother about the difference between Jam and Conserve once. I said that conserve was just regular jam, except it had whole or parts of fruit in it.
He cleverly came up with an argument using strawberry jam, which often has pieces of strawberry in. But then, it was probably a mislabeled jar. I'm always right where my brother's concerned. Even if the logic isn't right. =P
Conserves are simply jams made of fruit doused in sugar. To conserve it. Aren't I clever?
Jams are slightly different and tend to be runny, stickier and just a big mess - cause they've been "boiled to a pulp with sugar." Doesn't mean I don't love my raspberry jam though. ^^ Without the seeds in though. I find the seeds stick in my teeth and it's not really helped by crunchy peanuts.

This is actually a rather stupid blog, cause the only thing I've proven to myself is that I know the difference [more or less] between conserves and jams.
Still think it's silly to say "orange marmalade", but I can't change the world, can I?

Lanky One says I think too much, which is probably true. Shame I don't think this much in my lessons >>

Well went shopping today.

In the end, we didn't find much. I erm. I was remeasured at the *whisper* bra fitting place, and let's just say, apparently I've shrunk 2 inches around my ribcage, and grown by 3 or 4 sizes, resulting in me having to choose between bras suitable for 50-80 year old FAT women.

Screw that. Bras vary in make, so I'll go with what fits, right? Even if it's "technically too small". =| She was surprised my current one was fitting...so she can lump it.
I've also - in reflection - decided not to trust measurer woman. Last time I was measured, she used an actual tape measure. This one went by various bras, which a)I'd NEVER wear, and b) varied in style, so of COURSE I'm gonna need a huge one when the cup isn't designed to cover you completely.
I'll just be remeasured in Gigantic Bra shop, and M&S, to compare. Ah well.

Once again, I have given far too much information. First monthly cycles, next bra fittings.
Would you like my inner leg lengths? [one's longer than the other if that makes you more interested]

I made myself feel better - after measurerlady suggested a shop, which as I said, turned out to be for old, saggy, fat women - I met the Lanky One, and we went around town. I ended up buying this rather lovely teal top in the H&M sale, along with a sale DVD of Run Fatboy Run which I enjoyed at the cinema.

Retail therapy is an odd idea of women though.
They feel upset, so they go and overdraft on their debit/credit cards to make themselves feel better with clothes, or shoes, or food, but then of course, the after effects lead to more depression and possibly debt.

I don't see men doing that. Mind you, they often had other stupid hobbies. Like drink away their sorrows, slowly pickling their livers and then perhaps doing something incredibly stupid, like sleeping with a woman whom he thought was attractive, but was actually a drag queen, or getting 'I love Fifi' tattooed on their arms, when the wife is called 'Claudia' or something that results in sleeping on the couch and massive hang overs.

Yes, cheering ourselves up certainly leads to odd human behaviour.


I said I'd reward two of my readers - because on a forum I go to, infact most people reading this are from EA, there was a thread about "favourite blogs". And Jessie and Aaron [the smurf, not THE Aaron. ;)] both said they read mine.
So that's the reward. A special mention.

Did I get you all excited? Did I? Did I?

Future blogs I promise will be less detailed about my anatomy, and perhaps more like my old ones: discussions on strange things. I'm thinking about toast a lot lately, so I might do a post on it. That and jam/marmalade.

Heh. I've had a pretty weird day.

Got up, went downstairs and grabbed some toast, did revision on the Walcott poems [I might be able to scrape a reasonable answer together now, so long as the question is not ridiculous], then I read poems out loud to my gran who was baking my grandad's birthday cake, then we ate lunch, then I read an adorable email from The Lanky One who had to go to college to get his deposit on books back, then I watched Gosford Park, then I did more revision, then I argued over a stupid little thing with Lanky One, then I watched holby, then I came upstairs and got stressed out, then he had to go, and I am writing this.

How the hell did I get stressed? For starters, I deliberately finished the bottle of Advocaat - I recommend it with coke if you don't enjoy it neat - so that I would be relaxed enough to sleep. But to no avail. Instead I stressed over how the fudge I'm going to work my meds so that I'm taking them whilst in Egypt and over Lanky One's birthday - fortunately his is 3 days after I come home, so that's cool - cause. Well. Basically, I'm biologically broken. Cysts on my ovaries - yes boys, it's icky gross period talk - meant that I never knew when my next period would be. I went from 3 months of having them every 10 days [I'm sure that's not physically possible] to having them every 6 MONTHS. I kinda got fed up. You know, parents say "oh you'll sort yourself out after the first year or two." Well, lucky me was a late starter, and 4 years in I was still having no joy.
So I went on the pill. And over the exam period, I've been allowed by my doctor to take them 3 months running, cause frankly, when I'm on my period, it's debilitating and I wasn't going to do an exam whilst feeling as thought I've lost half my body mass in blood. [by the way, I'm a graphic sort of girl.] Anyway, I don't particularly want to be on whilst in Egypt in July, so I spent about an hour trying to count days so that I can be on the pill in Egypt and on the 11th of August.
I have 3 options. =D
1: finish my current course a week early. But that means that I have 7 pills left over. =| what the fudge do I do with those?
2: Just finish my current course when I'm supposed to, but not start the next 21 pills until 2 weeks after I'm supposed to.
3: Just come off when I'm supposed to, and stay on another 3 months. - I think my doctor said I could do that, to see how much better or worse a 3 month gap between my 'time of the month' is compared to a month gap. Heh.

Sorry guys. I'm a neurotic sort of person, and I need to talk things out clearly in order for me to understand myself and to make decisions. If you read my blog on choosing what to wear to a party, then you'll have guessed that already. If you're training to be a psychologist. Or just watch good documentaries.

Tomorrow's my final exam. Woot. Going to town on Friday for retail therapy. Should be good in the aftermath. Tomorrow evening my grandmother and brother are taking me to my favourite restaurant - The Jade Fountain - to celebrate. I should be ok. I mean, the unseen passage is pretty easy - you analyse a lot, bring in some own knowledge of the genre or historical context of the setting and compare to other themes of post-colonial books you've read.
Walcott's a bit harder, but I should be ok.

Huh. Stress is a weird thing. Varies in severity with me. Mild: Weepies, tense, panicking and inability to sleep, and the more pronounced stress which fortunately I've not suffered this year consisted of actual weight loss and frequent headaches, even migraines. =D
Never ON the day of the exam though. Only ever just before or after. Usually after. Huh.
Alcohol should relax - particularly liqueur. But never mind. I'm suddenly feeling rather worn out...

Well. I've finished all my exams, save one. English literature on Thursday. I'm confident in half the paper, and a little iffy with the other half, but over all I'll be ok, I think.

The unseen paper is perhaps the most factory-answered paper I've ever had since GCSE. It's 80:20 on passage analysis and everything else [comparison of texts, historical and literary contexts along with some marks on quality of written answer]. Should be fine.

The other paper, on Derek Walcott, a Caribbean poet, is a little trickier. I must try to compare his poems with Jean Rhys's Wide Sargasso Sea. Which is easier with some poems than others. I have to choose the poems according to the question. If I were to discuss 'oppression' or 'memories' then that'd be easy - Ruins of a Great House vs Antoinette's house. If it's something like "Walcott shares with other Post-Colonial writers the ability to create a unique identity for the dispossessed. Discuss.' then I'd have a little more difficulty. I could discuss the tone and anger of his narrator in Ruins of a Great House, and compare his abilities as a poet to that of the novelist Jean Rhys. I suppose if I tried, I could bring in Another Life, but I'm not too strong on his other poems. I need to revise them, really.

I've a plan. Today I'm reading through them and through essays I've written and checking what I need to do for the exam. Tomorrow I will list the themes and quotes and comparisons of each major poem. That way I can bring in some, no?

Kinda bored at the moment. Won't be seeing anyone for the next 4 days. But then Lanky One's coming to camp round mine on Saturday. Yay~

Up until after my classics exam, I was pretty strict with my timetable. However I realised that if there was ANY way that I could get up on Thursday at 6.45 in order to get to my exam, I'd have to start getting up earlier.

I tell you, until last week, I hadn't realised that I wasn't sleeping well. >.<
I wake up at night just thinking about Milton and The Rover.
I hope Milton went to hell. Least he deserves ¬¬. Rejection from his all-loving God. Bastard.

Well. I've done my best with the little energy I have: I've revised the Rover - loosely I'll admit, but I really feel I know this text. I'll give it a quick run through before bed on Tuesday though. ;P.
Milton I've made notes for, tried to learn quotes, but honestly, if I can't use those quotes I remember in any essay question because it's not characterisation, landscape or epic genre, I'm pretty screwed. *shrugs*

It's all cool. I'll just struggle through this week - Critical Thinking which I know nothing of how to answer, Drama/Poetry paper and Edward and Mary - then I can get back to subjects I'm comfortable with.

I've sorted out how to revise for the rest of History: Turning Points, Key Factors and other stuff, and then for the unseen I'll read through notes on Brick Lane for comparison, and swot up on some AO5 [historical context] and then for Walcott, I'll bloody well read the poems and the notes I made with some quotes, and try to reread Wide Sargasso Sea for comparison. >.<

All these quotes to remember. Milton's hardest. Just won't stick. Only a few things.


Ah well. I'll take some herbal tea and lots of sweetners before bed. ^^ That'll make me sleep.
[I can't believe I fell asleep at my desk earlier watching Scrubs >_<;']

I liked Iron Man when I was little, and I have to say, the makers of this film did a really good job.


Plot:
The plot line was not too busy, and pretty straight forward: as it should be. They modernised it considerably - what with Stark (<3) being kidnapped by Taliban-look-a-likes - but it works really well. Instead of sticking to the original anti-communist fighting in Vietnam, they updated it to anti-taliban-types in Afghanistan, where the start of the film is set.

It has the action, the double-crossing bad guy, the comic moments, the girl and a nice clean ending that suited the character and was on par with the rest of the film.


Cast:
Excellently cast: right down to the middle-eastern evil men.

Robert J Downey Jr was awesome - he really fitted his role, and was able to add some comedy to the film. The acting was proper acting, not "comic book" acting, which I kinda found to be the case in Spiderman 1 with the Green Goblin [sorry Willem Dafoe...I love you really].

Gwyneth Paltrow was perfect as Pepper and there was the appropriate amount of chemistry between her and Robert JD to create a pleasant 'will they, 'won't they' scenario, but also to the extent so that the audience aren't too disappointed that we never see them actually get together. [there's still the second film]. She wasn't underwhelming as a comic-book girl, and she was able to play her part with confidence and competence. Plus her shoes were damn amazing.

Jeff Bridges really pulled Obidiah off. He was sinister, slightly dodgy from the start [imo], and he wasn't cheesy when he was big bad evil guy in a giganticus suit. He also didn't go over the top when he finally got killed.
He was the bad guy in a way that Willem Dafoe wasn't - he didn't seem to put on an odd voice when he was outwardly 'evil', and he was genuinely threatening. My Tall Lanky One can vouch for my whispering "run run run" at Pepper after she is caught by him in his office.

Terence Howard, who played Rhodes, didn't really do much, but what he did do was well played. The conversation between him and Stark which resulted in the "usual BS"ing was comic, but also you could feel poor Rhodes sense of conflict. The poor guy had to override his superiors without telling them why, and in the army/air force/whatever I guess that's kinda hard to do. x]


Other important stuff

The special effects were awesome. I loved the modernity of Starks equipment, and I'm sure everyone loves his robots. I was genuinely impressed with the fight scene between Obidiah and Stark, and the escape -from-the Taliban-look-a-likes scene.
I cringed when the paralysis device was used - either because of the high-pitch noise or because of the way people's veins became apparent on people's heads and they went blue. Not sure - and the flying scenes were seamless.

I'm having trouble to be picky with this film. Maybe I haven't got over the 'omigod that was brilliant' stage. I only saw it 14 hours ago, but whatever the reason, I don't feel this film needs to be picked apart for flaws. There were no ambiguities or mistakes in the plot, and the background story of Stark was consistent with the original comic.

I'll certainly be buying this, and I will let the cinemas tempt me to see the sequel.
I just hope they don't do a Spiderman 3 and ruin the other characters. >.<

Well today I had the exams on Emperors and Tragedies.

In the end, I did all but Claudius and Nero indepth, and nothing on the tragedies. And it's just as well, because the question on Nero was answerable because of my opposition table I did, and then the synoptic ""The Praetorian Guard and its commanders were the only important factor in influencing the maintenance of the emperor's power." How far do you agree with that statement" was perfect for the opposition, influence and personality charts I'd done for revision, meaning I was able to cross-reference all the emperors, even Gaius. And I knew the names of all the important commanders: Sejanus, Macro, Burrus, Tigellinus. I've just realised I meant to mention Rufus, but I forgot. Never mind.

The Tragedies, I honestly felt I needn't revise: mostly because the synoptic questions are a bit obscure. Todays were certainly tricky, but I think I gave it my best shot. It was easy to pick which of the two extracts to write about. The 15mark question on Oedipus was "How important was the audience's knowledge of the truth for the effectiveness of Oedipus the King?". Simple. Dramatic Irony, Morals and messages and scope for the playwrite to add tension with other devices, rather than focusing on making the plot clear.
The synoptic was a choice between the importance of Self-sacrifice in the three plays [I did this one], and to what extent the three plays had a sense of closure at the end.
I feel I might have been able to do the closure, but I didn't think I'd write enough. If it weren't a 40 mark essay, I might have attempted it. Seemed like a 15 mark question to me. >>

Ah well. I hope I got at least a B. An A would be lovely - I got a high A last year, and 84% in my coursework this year, so that'd be rather spiffy.


Starting tomorrow is my Milton/Rover/Mary&Edward revision.
I am focusing on Milton - that's the hardest exam I have to face this year. Perhaps even EVER. Seriously.
Teacher was a nice dude, but he had trouble keeping the class on track. And when he did, The Idiot One would distract it with a stupid comment or bring in the other 10 Books just because he's got an illustrated set - he hasn't read them, he's looked at the pictures =| - which we aren't supposed to know, or are expected to know, and it confused us all. Also wasted about 20 minutes of our already cut down lesson. Idiot.

Set my alarm for a killed 7.30 tomorrow. I've got into a bad bad BAD sleep cycle. Bed late, up late. I tried to get up at 8.45 this morning and it was hellish. I woke up in time for the exam at 13.30 though, so that was ok.
But next week, I have Edward and Mary at 9.15, so it's probably a good idea to be able to get up at 6.45 in order to get a bus.

Well, seems I'm a happy bunny this week, if I'm just going to write two happy happy blogs in a row.

I've been bleedin' busy this week, but strangely I don't mind. Probably be bored otherwise, or feeling guilty, or tonnes more worried about my exam than I am.

Tomorrow I have my Roman Emperor and Greek Tragedies exam. Fun!
Well. Sort of. Tiberius and Claudius have their moments I suppose, but there's not enough on Gaius *sob* and Nero only gets interesting after he murders his mother, so....

The Greek tragedies I've revised...not so much. I guess I feel I know them inside out. Themes are simple: Crime and Punishment, Riddles, Religion, Social Rules, Justice, Family life etc. Simple.

I've also played my fill of Oblivion for this week. =o I've completed the main quest for Shivering Isles, which was quite fun, except for one bloody annoying quest. I can't believe I have to put the thing I killed at the start back together again. Although, that's not quite true. I have a say in how he's designed.
Naturally, the end of the quest was easily predicted - much like all the quests really. I'm now top dog. A god! Even.

Today I played hostess and tea-lady. Lanky One - whom I'd not seen for nearly a week and believe me, I missed him a lot. ;_; - came and helped. He was wonderful.
And my gran's leg is...sort of getting better...I guess.

So everything's hunky dory.

Nice to see a comment on my last blog. I had an idea some people read these, but really, it made me smile to know that he liked it. o.o
Unlike my Old Best Friend and My Brother, I don't really go for statistics, and number of hits - they're youtubers; what do you expect? - so this took me by surprise.

I kinda wanted to tell a joke at the end of this, but I can't think of one.


Good luck to you peoples who have exams at the moment. =)

Had a really productive day today.

Yesterday I went to town with my mate Giggles. We only went in for about 2 hours - she had to get a lift back at 5.30, but that was ample. It was really nice. Walked about trying to buy The Olds a replacement cushion thing, but the shop had moved or shut down. =(
Then we sat outside on the Green. Had a merry giggle, and just chatted a lot.

When I got home, I felt guilty for only doing minimal revision in the last week, so I set up a strict revision timetable. Tis well cool. The timings are perhaps a bit unrealistic, I've come to realise, but it's nice to finish "early." Today, I planned to do revision of the Senate under each emperor - Tiberius through to Nero - from 11.00 till 1.00. I finished at 12.30 - having added extra revision of Tiberius, allowing me more revision time on Tragedies later in the week -, giving me a break from 12.30 till 2.30. Then I revised the Influence of Imperial women, Freedmen, Senate, Praetorian Guard and high-position leaders and the Army on the emperors. ^^ Finished an hour early. 3.30, instead of 4.30.

So that's cool.

Also sorted out my fan problem. My pc's graphics card fan is sooooooooo loud. Normally there's a light humming heard in the kitchen and the dining room, but it was bearable. But this was ridiculous. So I turned down the fan, but that's no good if I need to game, when it's advisable to have maximum cooling. So I've shoved the tower on a stool. Much better. Can have it on loud almost all the time now. x]

I've even done some housework. Gonna chill after 4. That's when I've left time every day - in the late afternoon when my brain's frazzled - to just chill and do what I like. ^^

But it feels good to have done all of that. I knew most of it, when I thought about it, but just doing active chart-drawing helped draw that to the surface. Roll on Thursday.