I love new hobbies. In fact, so far, I'm loving my activity/social life this year. I've really quite filled my week, which is rather great; makes for a good work-play ethic. [no sex jokes please. :3]

But no. I've seriously started this year off on the right foot - sure, I still suffer from SAD as the weather turns from ok to naff, and I really really really miss The Lanky One, but overall, it's ok. I've decided 3 of 4 of my essay titles, and work levels are manageable. How the exams will work out is something I'll worry about next term.

Mondays are nice. 10-12.30 ''workshop'' lectures in this really quite fun course on the history of "science" or 'natural philosophy' in the Renaissance (15th-17th century). Go home, have lunch, then spend 2 hours doing Archery. I had a bit of trouble starting off with Archery, cause not only are my arms too long, but I wasn't taught until the third week in what I was doing wrong with my draw. It's not that I wasn't hitting the target, just my technique (and other people's) was wrong. So that's sorting out my posture a LOT. Really.
Then in the evening I talk to Lanky One, as it's the only proper day we're both in. xD

Tuesdays are busy during the day. Unfortunately, I have nothing in the evenings, so I use that time to do some work and watch films. Fun. Lectures are ok, just that it's a 9am start. And I finish with this crazy lecturer... Socialist (that's fine), Scottish Nationalist (also fine, though bordering annoying). He also slurs a lot so you have to *really* work to make sure you get what he's saying.

Wednesdays are completely free. Actually, as I write this, I've just realised that I have actually a History Society meeting at 3. It's now 2.35. I'd better get dressed! o_O In the evenings, I have been able to start pursuing one of my loves: Dance. I do ballroom dancing now. :D Ok. so I don't have a regular partner, and it'd be nice if I did, but I suppose that's just what I've got to put up with. I had a great partner the first night, which was really helpful as now I know I'm doing the dances correctly, even if any following partners are scared of body contact and therefore can't lead.

Thursday I have just the one lecture, followed by any work I have left to do for that week or the week after, and then in the evening, a history society event - last week was a 3-legged bar crawl (actually quite exhausting, but fun) and this week it's a guest lecture, followed by a meal with him. Sounds nerdy, but it's actually quite fun, and you might learn something too.

Fridays I have quite a late finish to my day: 5pm >.< I hate 4pm lectures. Though last year there was one (which I didn't need to go to in the end) that was at 5-6pm! Horrible. After that it's the Archery Social, so going out with my friends is nice.

Saturdays I have Casualty on t.v. xD And Sundays it's a roast at the friends' house, and then the pub quiz in the evening. Wahey.

Yeah, hobbies are good. They're refreshing, and you meet new people, and even if that doesn't stick, you have a laugh week-to-week. I did try going to Pagan Society (it was interesting) on Monday evenings, but as I said, only time I can really talk to The Lanky One, so I've sacrificed that one. At least for this term. We'll see.

Dance and Archery are really great fun. Honestly. And they do wonders for my posture >> which has always been a little dodgy. I'm quite lazy, and used to slouching at school, cause of their crappy chairs, or benches, or the tables being too low. At home it kept going, and yeah, it's just annoying. But I am consciously making an effort now. Woot.


Do any of you have any interesting hobbies? New ones you've taken up? I'm starting up my writing again, sort of, in my free time. When I have some and inspiration at the same time. I'm also starting up my photography thing again xD

I decided to leave a poem for The Boyfriend to find when he gets back from where ever he is at the moment (some house party or other, though it's possible he's hit his local club instead cause the party seemed dire from the way he described it).

I really really really wanted to do something short, sweet and daft, as I did on his postcard:

Blueberries are blue,
Redcucrrents are red,
I don't get to see you:
So I'm writing, instead!

Easy peasy.

However I couldn't think of any rhyme scheme, poem form or anything, so I decided to aim for serious, and to see what happens Good times.
Anyway, I ended up unable to really maintain it, so I resulted in a half-serious, half-hearted-half comedy poem.


Amidst the low hum, and soft light,
I sit in my computer chair, this night.

I try to think of the things I want to say.
how I feel, how I think, what I'd pray;
(If I were religious, or spiritual in any way)

I miss you with all my might,
During the warmer days,
The colder night,
I wish I could see you always.

Life is short, I know it so,
and we have far of it left to go,
before we can live, the way we please
in your arms, in my arms, not on our knees.

I wrote this poem, in an attempt to touch
however I think I tried to rhyme, too much.


 It's a shame I can't see his face when he reads it. I'd like to know his immediate reaction, really.
I've posted it on the forum I frequent, and two people seem to like it, for different reasons, so I'll just assume he either smiles, wells up, or puts on his 'what in the flying hell?" face.

You are all such a wonderful audience. I may have to dedicate an awful poem to you sometime!

If there is one thing I've learned from My Life, it's:

Time is annoying, but also, cliché-wise, a 'great healer'.


I've actually experienced quite a lot of death in my life, various people that I felt quite close to, and others I knew and was friends with, but not quite so intimately close. Each time I heard about their death, I cried and felt the initial shock and unfairness of it. I can't possibly gage which is worse - the unexpected death of a friend or the long-time-waiting death after an illness; mostly because of how the deaths have panned out - those I was closest to were those that died a long death, whilst those I knew and was friends with all died because of poor driving.

When my mother died, I remember feeling incredibly angry at people that used the old clichés - It gets easier, I'm sorry for your loss, My condolences, I'm so sorry, etc. But obviously when you're the one trying to express those feelings, it becomes hard NOT to use those clichés.

Perhaps they're clichés because they are somewhat true; time DOES make it easier. In a weird way. It always sounded heartless to me, but really, it's not. I've not forgotten any of the people I've known, at all. I can still smell them, hear their voices. It gets a bit harder to recall, but you'd be amazed what meeting a random person wearing the same perfume, or hearing a long-forgotten song can do for your memory. For example, last week I had a fabulous night at my first Ballroom Dancing lesson. However it  was hampered by the potent smell of the teacher's perfume. I instantly wanted to call her Sue or Nita. Nita's not dead, Sue is, but I've not seen either of them in years. My GOD it was as though I was in the same room as them again, the two friends in that pokey kitchen, laughing at whatever silly thing my brother had said, even if they never quite made me feel *that* nauseus.

What I've also learned about grief is that everybody must deal with it in his own way. Unless you fall into a helpless pit of despair and become incredibly ill, there is no "wrong" way to grieve.
It also changes with each person. I personally couldn't talk about my mother for a good 3 years without crying, so I refused to in public, whilst my grandmother and my brother wanted to all the time - which, unfortunately for my brother, wasn't easy, as his friends (they were all 7 at the time) didn't understand the necessity. With other people, I found it easier to talk about them - but only if it was a jolly reminiscing.

I think Time has also shown me how magical the past can be. No wonder historians such as myself enjoy studying it! Everytime I recount, for example, episodes of my school years, or how The Boyfriend and I got together, it seems amazingly a short time ago, and somehow better than it appeared at the time. You can laugh at your mistakes, or silly things you said, the embarassment is gone, and the sadness is less, somehow.

To those of you that have experienced death in the last few days, please let me tell you this:

You will always cry for her. But you will laugh, too. There'll be lovely memories, and things that will remind you of her. You have your chat histories, text messages, and any little titbits you might have received from her. What you feel now will never go away, but it becomes easier to bear, and is soon outweighed by the wonderful times you spent together. Cliché, again, I know, but I guess it's because it's true.

~Do not stand at my grave and weep.
I am not there, I do not sleep.~